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Archive for August, 2008

An impatient exegesis

I have come to terms that I can be deeply impatient when reading my Bible. If, for some strange reason, I haven’t come up with anything meaningful as I read, which happens more then I would like to admit, a curious sense of hysteria takes over. I become very cantankerous and irritable simply because I haven’t gotten anything from my Bible. I find it terribly ironic that some days I can become less and not more of a Christian as I read. I believe most of this is connected to my false expectations that I have imposed on God’s word itself, though my wife might suggest that I have some inherent problem that needs to be talked through.:) For what it’s worth, I have realized my irritability is more or less the result of a hopelessly selfish point of view: “my” set of expectations have not been met. This perception is a pernicious and complex web that I can get caught up in; unless, of course, I can get free from this deeply flawed point of view. But if my whole approach to reading God’s word is to get something out of it for me then I think I have missed the whole point. The ethical/cultural/theological dimensions wrapped up within the word discipleship, a word I’m not sure I or we comprehensively understand, explicitly calls us to think less of ourselves. And I really try hard to do that very thing, of course, through God’s grace. However, I find it bizarre that I apply this “thinking less of myself” ethic with regrettable selectivity. I choose to live this sort of thing out with people in meaningful ways, but when it comes right down to it, I forget to live this out in meaningful ways with God’s word. Obviously, I am guilty of compartmentalization and putting the cart before the horse. But the worse of it is that I have played selfish with God. The last thing I want to do is to succumbed to this wrong vision; this wrong hermenutical perspective. In fact, and again on more occasions then I would like to admit, I have fundamentally misunderstood what the Bible is really all about: It is not a Book that I can use for any old selfish reason; rather, it is a book that invites me to live within a greater story. So, I am now attempting a fresh exegetical approach to God’s word- it is more humble and patient and significantly less narcissistic. Hopefully, those days of hysteria are all over and done with…

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In the next few days, if all things go as planned, I will attempt the most significant and daunting journey of my life: kayaking with the Orca. So, with much reservation and fear, I’m beginning to prepare myself to face these large, wild, and unpredictable mammals. I have to admit that I am wishing, actually dreaming, that some act of God will keep me from having to make this perilous trip. A storm would be nice! But what I’m really hoping for is one of those “gut” feelings that Kelly gets when imminent danger is close. I need one of those get-me-off-the-hook moments.  Help me Jesus! Anyways, I know this walk of faith will only be strengthened as I embrace this journey of mine. You never know I might just have the time of my life. Please Lord keep me safe, amen….

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I just watched Dana Torres win her semifinal heat in the 50 meter freestyle. What is remarkable is that she is 41 years old!! So, I have been thinking… What are the chances that I could make it to London in 2012. I’m 32 years old and in terrible physical shape but I have four years to work out my old man hangups. Right? I was a collegiate athlete a long time ago, that must count for something!? Anyways, I have been infused with such a compelling vision of Olympic possibilities that I have decided to ask for some advise: Should I or should I not make an attempt at gold in 2012? Any thoughts? Please be kind!!!

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